To Begin Again

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done this.  Started something, chickened out and walked away.  It’s a pattern I’ve seen throughout my life, like a snarled tapestry spread out over the landscape, over the horizon beyond which sleeps my youth — and maybe beyond that, karmic agreements made, broken, reconstructed until that fine day when I get it.  When I finally GET that I don’t have to run away from who I truly am.  Maybe, just maybe, that day is today.  There’s a growing understanding inside me that says the answer is Yes.  I won’t pretend I’m cool and collected on this subject.  Anything but.  I’m nervous as hell, fucking scared to death.  But maybe that’s as it should be.  The idea is to push through the fear, if only to find out once and for all what it’s like to be on the other side of it.  I don’t know that I’ve ever really done that.  I’ve always just… run.

This blog started out as a way to share my Tarot designs in progress, and at first that seemed like the ubiquitous Pretty Good Idea.  Until it wasn’t anymore.  Life, it turns out, had other ideas for me.  So I’m back now with other ideas in mind.

I’m not sure if this is the most important part of it or not, but the first thing I thought of was that I want to reclaim the name I chose before incarnating in this body.  The name of my birth, Miriam Baker.  Briefly, I had played with choosing a brand new name completely, with rather embarrassing and silly results.  I didn’t know at the time that I was once again running from myself.  But Miriam Baker.  Now, there’s a name.  It’s funny how I get a little thrill when I see it on the screen.  I think that thrill means something good.  So that’s the first thing.  It sounds so strange, conjures up emotions I thought were long suppressed.  Memories of stupid decisions THAT Miriam made so long ago, and then… laughter, because really, we aren’t the same person five minutes from now as we are at this moment.  All is in constant movement here in 3D.  Always forward… forward, where my tendency has been to go back.  And away.

Sounds of it being taunted at me in the schoolyard, the creative ways it was contorted into ugliness.  Medusa, they called me.  That was the best one.  If only I’d really had Medusa’s eyes… But I digress.  The experience of my name being stolen from me taught me the importance of forgiveness, the empowerment of taking back what was snatched away, holding it close, because it’s mine, and has always been.  There’s nothing after all to be ashamed of.  What a funny thing, that our oppressors can be the greatest teachers in our lives.  And it’s funny how we can be our own worst (or maybe best) oppressors.  The God in me sees the God in you.  I close my eyes, and still She’s there.  Namaste.

The other thing is that I’ve just started training in energy healing at Golden Rose Psychic Services, under the loving instruction of Dr. Lauren Cielo.  I’ll use this training to continue developing my Tarot readings, and will add more services along the way.  Because what I’m meant to be in this life is a lightworker, and we need as many of those as we can get these days.  The shift, whether you see it or not, is happening.  It’s happening right now.  Not in some nebulous whenever-someday.  The shift that leads to our Ascension.  I believe we can do this, and those of us who are doing it consciously, rather than being dragged along unaware, owe it to ourselves and the rest of the world to find every way possible to assist the process along.  Because it’s going to get real damn messy.  Got a broom?  There’s room for everyone on the roster.  Or maybe you can just sing for us.  Music does make the work go by faster, doesn’t it?

But wait, there’s more!  I had started creating some artwork on my old site, way way back in 2016.  I pulled a few of those pieces and reworked them, and have created a couple of new ones, too.  I put my new/old signature on them, and am now looking for gallery representation online to take on most of the marketing and stuff for me.  Traditional post-gallery-world advice has been that artists must learn to be business people if they want to be successful.  But I’ve always be a Rebel with a Barbaric YAWP at heart, and as my grandma always says, “they have people for that”.  Or I think it was Deepak Chopra who said he’d rather see schoolchildren who are talented artists, but weak in math, receive special tutoring in art, and mathematicians to run their books for them when they grow up — rather than the other way around.  You get the idea.  That’s the route I’m taking.  I’ll let you know as soon as the kinks get worked out.

And I finished the website today!  At long last, it’s fully dressed and ready to leave the house.  Empyrean Arts is the place, if you get the chance to check it out.  I’m quite proud of it, and am excited to see how I can keep growing and evolving it into a Great Internet Thing.

There’s so much more to say, but this is getting long, so I’ll leave you for now with the artwork I’m submitting to the gallery folks (wish me luck!).  In the next post, I want to talk about the importance of today’s date, 5/10/2017.  It’s the day the North Node of the Moon moves into Leo (South Node in Aquarius), where it will stay until late 2018.  This movement was the push that got me moving in this direction in the first place.  Leo is my Ascendant sign, Moon in Aries.  Quite a contrast to my Cancerian sensitive self.  So trust me, it’s a big deal to me — but I’m far from alone in that.

Thanks so much for being here with me.

Love and Light,

Miriam

New and Reworked Art:

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